In the world there are people who just have to yap,
But you’d love if their mouths took a really long nap.
I don’t mean Dimitri or Ward, or Michelle,
‘Cause when I’m talking to them, all is swell!
My life is ebullient, my joy effervescent!
I give off more light than a bulb incandescent!
But other, dear readers, are not quite astute
To acknowledge the times that they ought to be mute.
For they babble and bluster and go on and on
Spewing enough B.S. to nourish a lawn.
And then there are others who just have to speak,
If given the chance, they’d speak for a week.
The phrase, “peace and quiet” is one seldom heard,
And if it were mentioned, they’d think it absurd.
For if I want to sit in a lunchroom and read,
because I believe it’s some down time I need.
As I hear their crude insults, I inwardly grin,
Since you’d think I were committing a grave sort of sin.
“Anti-social! A snob!” is what they all cry–
And I’m forced to ask that age-old question of “Why”?
Why do people feel the need to infringe
to such an extent that they’re making me cringe?
A book in my hand, and my S. Walkman too
Is a crystal clear clue that I won’t speak to you.
Don’t take great offence, just take it in stride
While keeping your comments and sermons inside.
And please, lawd-a’mighty, don’t think you’re all that,
To the point when you enter a room, we MUST chat.
The truth of the matter? I value my time.
So permit me to act like the chilliest of mimes.
If I wish to speak, I will speak with elation–
With a resounding and clear and concise salutation!
Like “Hi, how are you doing, bad day, or What’s up?”
Which is my clue to you that you needn’t shut up.
And thus ends my di’tribe about verbal missiles,
And THIS ends my ranting and rhyming epistle.
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