Flaming Desire: Waiting for “The One”

Being single, it’s so hard to wait for that perfect person. So, very hard. Especially when you’re impatient like me. My prayer for being less impatient goes something like this: Lord, give me patience and I want it NOW. Sort of like Veruca Salt in the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory movies. She wants what she wants and she wants it NOW.

I read a post about what people should want and wait for in a relationship. So, I decided I should write out my own list of what I’m looking for. They say that writing things down helps. So here goes! Be warned, this list might take a paragraph form. I’m ok with that if you are.

I want someone who will share my passion of singing and music. I love to sing. I could sing day and night. When I lost my voice from laryngitis, I was more annoyed and frustrated that I couldn’t sing as opposed to not being able to speak. Singing around my apartment, serenading, listening to music from when I get up to when I go to sleep. That’s something we’re going to have to share. Going to karaoke! YES, this is mandatory. I love the spotlight, and showing off, and I’m good enough to back that up. LOL. Music has always been an integral part of who I am, and what I do. It’s been a thread that has been woven through me for as long as I can remember. Pull it out, and the tapestry of my life is weakened. So yes…music is a must.

I want someone who’s smart. I don’t mean just book smart. Intelligence comes in so many different forms, and is so sexy! Knowing how to do electrical repairs, build things, sew, cook…I want someone who knows how to do stuff, and talk about stuff. Someone who isn’t afraid to learn new things, and expand their minds. Someone who’s willing to do things differently and be open to all that life has to offer. Life’s too short to be close minded!

There was a Star Trek quote from the character Q. He says, ” For that one fraction of a second, you were open to options you had never considered. *That* is the exploration that awaits you. Not mapping stars and studying nebula, but charting the unknown possibilities of existence.” While it’s slightly out of context… the gist is the same. Intelligence isn’t necessarily about learning new things but learning new ways to THINK and being confident enough to express and do it.

I want someone who will love it when I nerd out, and not make fun of me. If we’re in bed, and if I’m talking about space travel, or what would happen if we discovered a new planet, et cetera, et cetera…laughing at me is NOT going to be cool. The future holds so much promise..so much promise, that I want to revel in it. I want to be that kid looking in the sky, imagining what life is like amongst the stars. Don’t be a buzzkill.

I freely admit I’m an introvert. I can totally be a homebody. But there’s a fire and passion within me that I’ve always felt I’ve had to control and keep under wraps. My wit, my sarcasm, my heretical thoughts, my flirtations, my libido. So much of it under wraps, afraid that if I let it out, people won’t be able to handle it, and they’ll get burned. I can be flamboyant and outrageous. I can say the wrong things, or worse, say the things no one has the courage to say.

I want someone who can deal with that. Who can deal with my fire and passion. Hell, not just “deal” with it, but ENJOY it. Revel and be surrounded by it. Be comforted by it. Someone who won’t shy away from it. I want someone who will be warmed by it, and not be afraid of being hurt or burned. I need someone I can be authentic with. I’m a strong cup of tea, as the saying goes, and I need someone who’s going to accept the loud me. Someone who’ll accept that I love the spotlight. Someone who’s going to let me run and not be scared that I’ll love them any less. Someone who can trust me not to screw things up.

Three quotes that I LOVE which sum up what I mean…

“I look at him and my body reacts in a way that it never has before, even in the throes of passion. I look at him and I start aching so deep inside it takes all I can to think, to breathe, to speak. He’s like the brightest flame and it takes everything in me to resist its call.

I know that if I give in, I’ll get burned so deeply, there might be nothing left once I come out the other side.

But, god, I want to step into that flame.”
― D.L. Hess, Sir

“No matter the joy in heaven, its coldness will make you bask beside the flames of hell.” 
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“I threw myself into that fire, threw myself into it, into him, and let myself burn.”
― Sarah J. Maas, A Court of Thorns and Roses

I want to be that flame. And I won’t hurt you. I promise. Just don’t try to put me out. I want someone to love me with all that they can, and not be afraid when I do the same.

There’s more…and in a future post, I’ll tell you what I would want to give to a partner.