Saying it out loud! (Part 2)

Greetings and salutations!

My last post talked about the value of actually saying things out loud using your literal voice instead of using text, and all other forms of communication that are e-based. As I was reading it over, I was thinking that while I talked about the style of what to say, in terms of saying it out loud, I really neglected to mention the content of what to say.

I did end off with a quote by Marshall McLuhan, “the medium is the message”. So, yes, how the message is delivered is pretty damned important. All of that being said, one still has to worry about the content, especially if one is going to do something as risky and daring as using your voice in the most literal sense.

So here are some tips that I wish I learned in addition to using my voice.

Be direct and honest. There is no shame in expressing what you want and what you need in order to be happy or to clear up misunderstanding or confusing situations. People aren’t mind readers, and dropping hints or sly clues doesn’t cut it. Not as an adult, anyway. When I say direct and honest, I don’t mean rude, and I’ll get to that in the second point.

Be kind. Remember that everyone has feelings and that we are a lot more sensitive than we let on. If what you’re saying isn’t direct, honest, and kind, you’re probably not working hard enough in figuring out what you want to say. It IS hard. It’s difficult. There’s always a chance that the person will ignore your statements and entreaties. That’s ok. The point is that one has to start off that way, and gradually emphasize the point until they get it.

Be understanding and empathetic. One can be kind, polite, etc, but being empathetic is a step further. It’s being able to sympathize with what someone is feeling and feel that as well. One can be polite and not care or understand what someone is going through in their hearts. Knowing their hearts and feelings? That’s being empathetic.

Be open. Conversations can go in a myriad of different directions, some predictable, others not so predictable. While you may think that you have a roadmap for how a talk will go, I can promise you that tangents will appear and your carefully planned conversation will go off the rails. Embrace that. Now isn’t the time to be rigid and inflexible because your plans have collapsed around. Be open and fluid, and realize that all in all, those aren’t bad things to be.

Be careful when speaking about things that make you angry. Happy, sad, morose, wondering…all are valid emotions to talk about. So is anger, and rage. Groucho Marx said , “If you speak when angry, you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.” These words are still hold true. While getting out feelings of anger are important, you have to be careful that you don’t make the situation worse. Basically, be doubly sure of all the above points before speaking to someone when you angry.

I wish I had followed the above advice…I had so many questions, and I hope to get answers for them. In time. But in the meanwhile, I hope these are helpful. Saying it out loud! It’s still the way to go.

That’s all for now!