Tales From The Couch: Part 12–I’m doing GREAT!!! No, really!!!

Greetings and salutations!

So I had my last session, and my therapist seems impressed with my progress. She said that even though it may not seem like big steps, they actually are.

I told her that I read an article in the Toronto Star which had this to say about therapy.

” Gottlieb says “I think the biggest challenge is that some people think you go to therapy and you gain insight, and then boom, you’re going to change your behaviour. But we always say that insight is the ‘booby prize’ of therapy . . . You need to use that knowledge [and] understanding to make real changes out in the world. Part of therapy happens in therapy, and part of it happens outside of therapy.” If you can do that, therapy can be a superpower.

https://www.thestar.com/life/relationships/advice/2019/04/14/why-therapy-can-be-a-powerful-comfort.html

And this has been my motto ever since I read it. My goal has been to take what I learn in my sessions and APPLY it to the real world so that I can do the work outside of the session.

So…if I find myself fantasizing about unhealthy things, I make it a point to stop, or to base what I’m doing in reality. If that means asking people if they are seeing someone, or being more direct and forthright, so be it.

All of you are familiar with the trials of SK, and the hell I went through. I definitely don’t want to go through that again, so I make a note of the behaviours that lead me down that road, and try my damndest not to repeat those behaviours.

My therapist asked me what brought on this change. Well, July is a very special month. First of all, it’s my birthday. I think that getting older causes one to think and examine your life and figure out what’s going on. July is also mid-year. It’s the time to make mid-year course corrections so that the last half of the year goes better and more smoothly. Finally, July is my work anniversary! I started my job about 20 years ago, so again…that leads to a lot of self-introspection about things.

I don’t know if people wonder why I don’t talk about work as much, or hardly at all. For the most part, work is an even keel. And of course, there are legal and HR reasons which make some work stuff problematic to post.

So, all in all, my therapist is impressed with the changes I’ve made, even though I’m meh about them. I just think it’s me acting like a normal human being.

She asked me to write a list of all the things I like to do and various groups within the city that can accommodate me. We had discussed before that I had been missing SK–not him, per se, but what he represented…someone with which to do stuff with. In doing this exercise, I realize that there are plenty of groups, outings, meetups, etc, that I can do so that I satisfy my need for human contact, intimacy, and getting out of my apartment.

All in all, it was a very good session. Tips to remember? Keep on doing the things I’m doing.