Living the best life!!!

Hey y’all! Greetings and salutations!

I’ve been trying to write stuff that’s more uplifting, or more to the point, not emphasize the negative as much as I have been lately. (So it seems). So I’ve decided to give a “State of the Union” address, so to speak, of what’s going on.

Therapy has been a godsend. It’s been about 6 months, and I’m taking to it like a duck takes to water. I’ve been through a lot of crap lately that’s been impossible for me to handle on my own, or with non-professional help. So with that in mind, decided to see a therapist to help me work through some of the stuff, and give me tools to deal with what’s going on. And yes, while I’m not perfect, it has helped and has been worth the time that I’ve spent. And money (well, when my work benefits run out!).

What else…weight loss. Weight loss has always been a challenge for me, but I’ve lost about 50-55 lbs, and while I have my ups and downs, the general trend is downward. Even though it’s hard to tell somedays, I look and feel better. There’s still a lot to go..probably about 50 more pounds before things really start to improve. The weight loss has helped with my sleeping, pain management, etc, and has helped with my mobility, so for that, I’m pretty grateful.

I’ve gotten back into doing more photography. It’s hard fitting it in when one works five days a week, as opposed to my previous shift work schedule, but it’s a joy getting back into it. My eye is still good, though I’m a bit rusty in some areas. I imagine that will improve the more I get out there with my equipment.

Relationships. Ahhhhh relationships. I’m still not in one. So that kind of sucks. However, one might argue that given everything that’s happened, I wasn’t in the best place for one. Still…I do have the tools from therapy to be more realistic about things, and have a better sense of my own self-worth, as well as be more grounded in reality. There are still some very minor lingering effects with SK, but I think that deserves a paragraph of its own. LOL.

So, SK. It’s been 5 months since the ersatz breakup…(and ersatz is a 4 dollar word for fake, etc), and I’m good. It’s been a roller coaster of emotions, but to sum up? I feel comfortable with the last email I sent. I’m not in love with any more. I’ve sung the songs we were going to sing at karaoke. I’ve accepted the fact that we will never be together consciously and subconsciously. No guilt about what I did, and how it turned out. The only thing left is the hotel. Ahhhh…the hotel. The last place I saw SK was him walking away at the hotel after “The Saturday”. I realized that closure has occured in every way but that. In the sense that it is “my hotel”. It’s where I stay when I want to treat myself and not leave town. So the therapist agrees…just as one gets back onto a horse when one has fallen off, one must confront the things that scare you or have the ability to cause you pain. So there’s that. 😀 So, there’s going to be a hotel trip in my future.

Continuing on that vein though…I’ve realized that I’ve been doing a lot of things that are counterproductive when it comes to relationships. And I’m happy to report that things ARE changing for the better in that regard. No SO yet…but give it time!!

I’ve been actually trying to travel more, or planning on travelling more. Checked my points…for a small portion of an airplane fare, I can afford a plane ticket to Honolulu!!! Honolulu is one of my favourite places. It is one of the places I have been at peace. So, we’ll see.

And YES, I’ve finished my erotic story!!!! I’m not sure where I’m going to post it, however. It might be a bit too hot for some.

Granted..not everything in my life is perfect. But I feel that it would do me some good to concentrate on the positive and the uplifting stuff, instead of the negative. There’s plenty of time for that.

Well, that’s all for now.